On books

Read recent blog by avi on his thoughts on Pride and Prejudice. It instantly reminded me the character of Meg Ryan and her love of Miss Bennet in the movie, "U Got Mail" and how passion of one person can induce others to follow the suit.
On the topic of books, given that nowadays, life is pretty relaxing, I have had good fortune to read a few very interesting books. The Diary of Young Girl, Anna Frank being one of them. Quote from the book "I trust in luck and do nothing but hard work", seemed to have stuck in my mind. The book is about this young girl at the tender age of 13 years being forced to go into hiding with her family in Nazi Holland, during the time when Hitler almost was on verge of conquering the whole of Europe. Anna is a very intelligent girl for her age and all her emotions being stuck up in a small hiding villa, upstairs of her fathers former office, are poured out in a diary which she maintained through out the period she was in the hidding until the day, SS found the family.

The other book I have read is "Train to Pakistan", by none other than Khuswant Singh.
It is a tragic story of a very laid back village, at the border between the newly formed country of Pakistan and India, finding itself in the midst of all the massacre and killings that followed partition of India in 1947. The protagonist of the plot, Juggat Singh, the gunda of the village, finds himself entangled in the chaos follwing the killing of the village landlord, and how he manages to save his pride and love and in the end his sacrifice resulting in 100s of lives being saved.

2 more recent books that I had fortune to read are by the same author, "Mitch Albom",
Tuesday with Morie, which I just happened to get and the other very recent book by him, "5 people we meet in heaven", which I saw while I was loitering at Kansas airport the other day. the prologue to the book seemed to enchant me and I ended up shelling 20 bucks at the book store. Am right now into the book and it simply is enchanting. As Amy Tan puts it, "its a novel u will devour when u fall in love"
and being very close to that, thats exactly what I am doing right now.

kansas

3 weeks ago, had someone told me, I would writing a blog titled kansas, I would have laughed my hearts out. True, the word has some significance in my circle of friends. Number of my friends have spouse/the significant others, living in kansas at some point in their lives. Though kansas was as far for me as far is say antartica. Neways here I am sitting at Kansas city airport, waiting for my flight back to San Diego. What has life in store for u, u never know. Live life by the day, is the message I am taking with me from here. It has been wonderful experience over last 2 days of my stay here in Kansas city, for a change trying real hard to speak in my mother toungue, Marathi, whose domain for me somehow had always been restricted to moms and pops and me. It was refreshing to get to eat puran poli, made at home, in this foreign land. Thanks J^2.

Got to go now, time to fly back.

´Castle

The seemingly amusing title for this article is stirred by my current visit to one of the modern old castles in Bavarian Germany, about 1 hr drive from Munich. Ringberg castle as it is called, is located at the foothills of of Bavarian alps, mountain peaks covered in snow, akin to icing on the cake, on the northern end and a beautiful lake on the southern end, much similar to experience of cold winter evening in Srinagar, Kashmir, the Dal lake. The only thing missing though were those beutiful kashmiri damsels in their canoe, selling flowers and kashmiri kishmish.

The setting at the castle is amazingly romantic. Though the history of castle is quite amazing. It is a monument commemorating the idiosyncrasy, originality, and remarkable single-mindedness of two men: Duke Luitpold in Bavaria and his friend, the alround artist, architect and interior decorator, Friedrich Attenhuber. This castle dominated the lives of thsese 2 people to a point that it became an obsession for both. Surprisingly, none of the most popular reason like love of dearest or say, defence of territory, were the reasons for building up this castle.

In the twilight years of his life, the duke decided to donate the castle to scientific community of Max Plank institute, which supposedly had enough money to accept this grand gift as one can easily imagine the cost of maintaining the castle in this modern world. However as it turns out, I think this is one of the few best things that academics has to offer. Max Plank society in Germany now owns this castle and it is used for the purpose of retreat by many Max Plank labs all over Germany. It is in this context that I had this wonderful oppurtunity to experience the life of castle.

Amazingly the castle is extremely modernised to the point that it has a central heating unit, wireless lan, music room filled with all the hightech gadetry, excellent conference room for holding lectures, amazing library and all the facilities that a scientist in modern era need to work.

I wonder how many places in the world such as this exist in the world, wherein the modern is so well integrated with the old and in a sense, resulting in a unique ambience, one can only describe by being part of it.

Gutanmogen Danke: From Germany

The few words that i have come to learn in my couple of days stay in germany are mentioned above in the title for this blog. They mean, Good day and thankyou.
The german friend of mine at my university told me that Munich is a very modern and rich city with strong western influence and that i will have no trouble getting around knowing zilch german.
How wrong was he. Today I made my first visit to main place in Munich called Martinplatz. Thank god, they had travellers info on the web at www.munich.de and thankfully they had an english version too.

So that helped. I got a vague idea of where the happening place in munich was and how to get there from the country town I was located in at MPI.

Few striking things to mention, Mercedes Benz E class is the taxi in the city. One sees only mercs and BMWs, well every one know that the heed quarters of Beamer is in munich and for sure on roads one glimpse at all the running cars and the fact is confirmed.

The main center Town Hall resembles somewhat like Gate way of India, upscaled like 100 times.
There are all these, wonderful prehistoric structures intermingled with modern. Walk a few blocks down the town hall and one gets to see the very familiar Mcdonalds and nearby a Burger King.
Actually it brings a sensse of relief to see something familiar, knowing I will know exactly what I order and what i get. Neways being in a bavarian capital, the motivation to eat authentic bavarian food was much much stronger and I strawl along the malls and all the posh shops that reminded me so much of down town La Jolla, the richness of place is enough to deter a person from entering any shop and window shopping is the only option remainning. That with the current slump in dollar value against Euro makes things look much more on the expensive side.

Neways Munich is also a ciy known for its Museums and today i vistied my first museum in Munich. Compared to others that i have heard, this one, 'The Toy Museum ' was much smaller. But come on a Toy museum ..whats that??? I did manage to shell out 3€ for the ticket and entered the museum. In some sense it was a disappointment. Majority of toys belonged to the category of soft toys and in that almost all were bear. Small bear old bear child bear, bear from early 19th century bear from a guy donated to the museum who had it for 80 years and was worried, his death woud also mark the end of his favourite toy of yester years....
Walking around the city I managed to find a lot of bavarian restaurants, but how different is it from America, wherein as you enter you yre ushered to seating place. Here a person entery and finds himself a place to sit. The menu is kept on the bench. Unfortunatley it is in german. It happened to me like four times. I entered a restaurant, waited a while for a waiter, no one turns up, i go to one of them and he starts speaking in german. I try to tell him ''I dont know no german' but he just keeps on going. Disaapointed I leave.
Finally Mcdonalds it was, I had the known McChiken Burger, a HeigenDaas Ice cream from near by Heigen Daas store and decide am done for the day.

Well thats that for my first trip alone to downtown Munich...If i am say so.

-s

girlfriends and all that

Very very interesting..
In past few days i have come across more than a couple of instances of people in my circle going out on dates and or making progress in terms of more serious relationships and all that...
For example my office mate, went on and send a flower to some class mate of his, hand made by him using oregamy...that resulted in him having a date and him now getting a chance to flaunt his italian cuuisine skills to the fairer sex.
In other instance very very good friend of mine is making some progress in his search for that some one...Dont want to say more, and am crossing my fingers and wishing all the best to him..
In yet another instance, this flatmate of mine found some hot chick on his trip to tijuana and now hes having dinner date fixed.
Finally, as it turns out most of my frineds here either have girlfriends, are married or engaged. A friend of mine pointed to me that amongst all us, I am the only loner remaining....
Started me thinking, man is it time for u to find some company, some fairer sex to hang out with...The answer came sure enough fast and easy..
No, am better the way i am now and as Becker woud have put it, change is not good for health. I guess my time will come soon too.
Neways, for now I am happy to see people around me having some great time

Movies based on books

Is past one week I have seen 3 different movies, belonging to 3 different genre, the only thing tying them together is, each is derived or is an adaptation from written work, from Homers "Illiad", to Asimovs series of books on Robots and a best selling novel "The Notebook" by Nicholas Spark.

The 3 movies I am talking about are,as you might have guessed by now, Troy, starring Brad Pitt as Achilles, an adaptation from Homers Illiad (ok its not a novel per se, but a poem), I-Robot, starring Will Smith as skeptical Policeman, in futuristic world of NRC(National Robotics Company), wherein robots are as human like as possible, with 3 basic laws of robotics governing their behaviour, an adaptation from Asimovs books on Robots. I have read some where though that that this movie has been boycotted by fans loyal to Asimov as it bears but very little resemblance to depiction of Robots in Asimovs work.

Finally The Notebook, poignant love story set in late 1940s of America in a small town called Seabrooks in North Carolina. Few things about this movie that amazed me are, miniskirts were common even then, kissing and open exhibition of love making was not uncommon then too..Apart that it is a story about an old man (james garner) reading to a story from his faded notebook to an old woman (Gene Rowlands) in a nursing home, about couple of young kids from different social and economic backgrounds, meeting in a carnival, falling in love and the eventual, triump of love.
The interesting thing was, as we entered the theatre, there were a couple of young women outside with paper napkins in hand, asking people to carry one as they entered the theatre.

Did I like these movies. You bet I did. Each one had its own unique quality about it.
Troy reminds me of the grandness of wars fought in years gone by, similar epics from hinduism are Mahabharata, which as a child I watched on TV every Sunday morning.

I-Robot, gives one the feeling of being in the hightech world of corporate america, wherein technology wonders are every where for everyone to see on daily basis.

Finally, Notebook is class apart, delving into psyche of human emotion. Excellent balance of History, Science, and Psychology for intellectual minds to chew on.

Addiction

What is addiction ?

"An addiction is a compulsion to use a substance or persist with a certain behaviour in order to feel good or to avoid feeling bad"

The above quote in the first link that I got on google while I was searching for "Addiction what is it ? "
Lets analyse what the above statement has to say:
It says "persistent behaviour or dependence on certain substances in order to feel good and avoid feeling bad"
It define addiction as mean of doing good to self in order to avoid doing bad.
Is it true though ?
I would say, if a person is addicted he does what he does because, the habit or the behaviour is beyond his control. The feeliing of being addict is the feeling of guilt, the feeling of being helpless, lack of mental faculty to be in control of the situation and finally succumbing to the pressures. Its a kind of a circular situation of the addict knowing his problems, him trying to overcome it and in the process being dragged into the hole more so.

What are the most common addictions that people have in day to day lives that seem not to harm them on short term but, are thought to be unhealty on longer time scales.
Cigarette smoking,the extreme case would be chain smokers, people who smoke atleast a pack a day, that would make a approximatley a cigarette every hr and 15 min. Alcoholism, the extreme case of that would be people who are inebriated almost all the time, people who cant see themselves stopping with just one peck on any given ocassion. Gambling, an addiction whose consequences I have come to see on first hand basis every single day growing up as a child. Extreme case involves, people unable to control their urge to squander their hard earned money every single pay day, with some days being good when the addict wins, with the odds of loss being just too high. But still the gambler gambles, in hope to beat the odds and rise to the ocassion.

Then there are some serious maladies, like being addicted to drugs, worst amogst those being, LSD, Cocaine, Marijuana, and such "recreational drugs" as they are called, belong to the family of drugs which affect the CNS directly. They induce the feeling of short term euphoria, and are kind of drugs to which a person becomes strongly addicted, as define by his complete loss of control to avoid the use of drug.

Why do people get addicted ?

An interesting question. The answer to which many a times lies in social structure of our society.

Entering the GUI world

Having worked in the field of Dynamical systems theory, I have been greatly benefited by many of the fascinating GUI applets available online and some of the wonderful graphical applications that exist to understand the problems intutively and at the same time appreciate the theory behind it.
One of the very interesting application is at the following site,
Lorenz Model Applet

Its a java applet on Lorenz model, the very first system in continuous dynamical systems theory that any new student will learn. The java tutorial gives hands on idea about the behaviour of the model and the student can visually see, what is meant by ¨sensitive dependence on initial conditions¨, the very typical property exhibited by any chaotic dynamical system and the source of the more famous quote, ¨When the butterfly flaps its wings in tahiti, it results in tornado in kansa¨.

Have you ever used all the cool applets on Linux machine, for example say, the gnome-calculator, which comes with any Linux OS. I have always wanted to do something like that. With no backgorund in software programming to the details required in GUI, it has always been a daunting task for me to learn. However not any more. There exists this excellent IDE environment called ANJUTA, created by an Indian, Naba Kumar and in addition with some help from GLADE, an interface builder and some of GTK+ libraries, with some basic C programming background, I was able to built in a days time an application much similar to the gnome-calculator I mentioned above. It was really fun and exciting knowing how easy it has now become for any novice to do some cool stuff.

Finally all the tools I mentione above, in the spirit of GPL, are available freely online.
On the passing note, I would also like to thank 2 excellent tutorial articles by Eddy Anhmed on Glade, and a nice tutorial article by Ishan Chattopadhyaya on using Anjuta, which has helped me to get going with fulfilling my desire.

The link to the articles which I think are useful, is provided below,
Glade Tutotial
Starting off with Anjuta

I will sometime soon also post details on how to go about buiding a simple calculator app, on my page.

Depression : Coping with it

Back in india, depression is more mental illness, reflecting weakness of a person, his inability to cope with whatever situation there exists, it is more of something that is as tabooed and bad as some serious illness say like AIDS. Associating depression, or what is correctly termed as clinical depression, with an illness, something that can be diagnosed and cured is hard to grasp.

The fact that a person can be ill with depression is simply hard to understand.

Clinical depression is associated with, as one can easily find by googling it, certain set of symptoms, easy to look for. Usually you are given a questionaire to fill, with answers yes or no, to questions like,

did u have thoughts of suicide recently,
do you think there is no hope for future
do u feel anxious all the time,
have u started to forget things quite often,
have u lost interest in anything that u do,
and the set continues....

The medication available in the western world where it is appropriately treated as illness, basically works on rectifying the chemical imbalance in the brain, something called neurotransmitters, that play role in conveying information from one brain cell to the other.
Class of medicines that fall into category called SSRIs, i.e., Selective Serotonin Reuptake inhibitors, like the more common, ElLilys, Prozac or Zoloft by Pfizer, work by blocking serorotin reuptake mechanism, thereby more serotinin stays in the synaptic cleft, (layman words, the space between 2 connecting cells,). High levels of serotonin over an enduring time period create changes in cell configuration in terms of more channles made available for better communication between the two connecting cells, the amount of serotonin produced, as well as in the number of serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SERT ) expressed. An increase in serotonin creates a change in SERT expression and consequently effects mood and other serotonin affected behaviors. It is these compensatory responses at the cell that improves or enhances mood and is considered to be a form of solution to depression problems.


This is one approch to problem of depression which is purely scientific. However, many a times depression is more than just some chemical imbalance. Upbringing of a child, child who is repeatedly criticized or treated unfairly, not allowed to think or act independently, denied love and attention, compared unfavorably with others, humiliated repeatedly in front of others or made to feel worthless and unwanted, very likely will develop low self esteem while growing up and suffers from feelings of inadequacy. Failure might follow, and if you are unable to meet the expectation that society have from you, depression might result. Basically as might be diagnosed correctly, one might start feeling complete hopelessness and self pity. He might start worrying over trifle matters and might loose sight of where hes going.

In such case, society plays an important role to bring the person back on track, more than anything else. Close friends, relatives , family, all with their share of love and respectful approch towards the persons problems might help him more than anything else, to feel important again.

Finally, sad events like the recent suicide of famous indian model/actress/MTV VJ, which are just spur of the moment things can be prevented by the ill person himself, if the person under such critical depressed condition has a little bit of courage to seek help.

France Equality

I have now quite a few times read about, the policy of france to ban any display of religious bias by an individual in public schools, by that I mean, Sikh kids are all banned from france public schools unless they stop wearing turban, similarly, muslim women are not allowed to wear their traditional headscarf in any public place, nor are christians allowed to display large crucifixes dangling down their neck. The stand by french government on this issue is, public display of religion creates bias in society, they want to strictly seperate religion and state.

I wonder what will france achieve imposing such a ban on people at the same time claiming its democratic staus, which by its definition allows people to adhere to their faith and freedom independent of state interference, as long as no harm is being done. If one extends this crazy idea a bit further, imagine not allowing people who could afford, to own say, Mercedes Benz, cause it will then create bias in the society amongst rich and poor. Imagine banning exams, as it might result in distinction from bright and smart kid from a dumer. You simply cant do this. Society is made to be baised, people have all the right to choose and follow what they believe in and state should not have any authority to have control over individuals right of freedom. In a way this law, has repercussion of an authoratirian state, trying to impose stricture on individual under disguise of glaringly farce idea of ¨all being done for the benefit of society¨

Nostalgia

Read 2 articles now by parth, one elaborating on those wonderful days of us 4 being at rock beach discussing almost anything and everything under the sun. In his recent blog parth describes the initial days of struggle when a new graduate student comes to united states of america, the memories of 4 long years back, at the turn of this century, when he and avinash first landed in the US of A.

Neways for me today the nostalgia is quite different... It all started believe it or not, with me preparing for my presentation, which i am supposed to give in a weeks time for review of my scholarship. As it happened, I landed at this site called, Raaga.com.
Under the Music directors link under Hindi music section, as most people would do, I choose to see what was listed under R.D. Burman, supposedly the greatest music directors of all times. Found a link to music of movie GHAR, and the particular song,
"Aap ki aakhon mein". Almost the whole day working on my presentation, it deemed appropriate that this song which holds tremendous significance to me, conjured up all the past memories, ironically during almost the same time, as parth was talking about, 4 years ago, of me being in Ahmedabad.. Still arguably those 45 days have been the best in my life so far.
That led me to go to India store to see if I could find the movie, but it turned out that none of the stores had GHAR with them.. It sucked big time. Determined as I was, to see some classic, it occured to me that the movie Ijazat, about a couple who, are seperated for life by circumstances, to meet one day at railway station, would be an excellent choice for satiating my desire to bath in nostalgia.
For sure the movie did its job. The whole movie, Rekha reminded me of that someone and god knows what would I not give to be in the place of Nasurrudin Shah.
Moments like these make life for sure!!!!!!!!!

Why PhD in physics from a Math teacher

Today i had rare ocassion to be with a family on dinner. My flatmates, relatives from LA were in the town. They invited Ali and myself for dinner in some Indian restaurant. As always, we recommended the India Place, basically the only Indian minitown, around La Jolla area. So myself and Ali drive to the place...
There I am introduced to his aunt of his, he was careful to mention that this was a far far far off related aunt, something like his fathers mothers, cousins daughter ... or something like that.. Well it was immediately clear to me why was Ali so specific about informing me about his relation to this aunt of his..
On my informing her about myself being a graduate student persuing degree in Physics, she impudently, asks me, why are u doing a PhD in physics ?? what will you do after a PhD, will become a teacher someplace?
Talking more to here, i came to know that shes a Math teacher in some high school in LA and has kids, one of whom is a Cardiologist and the other is electrical engineer.
Some how in her mind any one persuing sciences degree is a fool and for sure that person is not worthy of making money, I guess a measure of success that she grades peoples worth by.

I wonder how many like her exist, and how many possibly worthy intelligent kids, are being deprived of career in science.

Trip to Death Valley

My fascination for wanderness has been ever increasing since my last 2 trips to Grand Canyon and then Sequoiah National park. Following the trend, I with a old friend from IIT, my office mate and his girlfriend, went on a road trip to Death Valley national park this weekend. Had heard a lot about the barreness of the place and how harsh the climate there gets. Temperatures in summer go as high as 120 F, and during the nights too, temperatures hover around 100-110 F. We were prepared well for the trip except for the unexpected. Our journey started from San Diego on 15N. At Bakers a
small, town along the way, we bifurcated on to highway 127 W, with the intentions of entering the park from north east, on highway 190. But it turned out that the highway was closed. and the reason for it being closed, guess what Flash Floods....yes Floods..
Wonder how coud that happen in such a place which is extremely dry and barren and for sure tjere is no trace of a drop of water or any greenary for miles and milses. But, as u can read at the following news report, and well described by the forest ranger in the death valley, Death valley is far from dead and is dynamically alive and it kicks ass!!!
Flash Flood in Death Valley
Our entry into the park was delayed by an hour and half as we had to move on furthur, north and we entered the park from Beatty, as small ghost town 8 miles east of Death valley.
As expected the temperatures were well in to 100s, by the time we reached Furnace Creek, the main camping point in the valley. We figured out there that the park was organising short car trips to flash flood zone, in the valley to show us the extensive damage done by the floods.. It was rare ocassion for us to see first hand the vagaries of nature and how helpless us human beings can be some times..

We moved on from there, driving west on 190, as from the Furnace Creek Ranch, 190 furthur towards east was closed, and we were told that it will remain so for atleast a couple of months.
By the time we left the Ranch, it was around 5.30 pm, and for sure it was still complete daylight and still temperature being close to around 115 F. We next decided to move on to a nice Hiking place called Mossaic Canyon, near Stovepipe wells, around 35 miles west on 190.

On our way there, I had first glimpse of real san dunes, read a lot about in highschool Geography class. They are pristine pure, simply awesome. Our hiking plans changed, we decided to explore the sand dunes instead.

For there we moved on and found a camping spot close to exit to Wildrose, near stovepipe wells. We had company there..a couple from some european country I guess.
Camped there, celebrated my old friends birthday which as it turns out was on the same day.

Simply awesome trip overall...

learning from mistakes.. how hard is it

Ok , a few weeks ago I made a mistake..The mistake I have been making for long and had the first monetary loss couple of weeks back.
I have this bad habit of scribbling on the pages of the book I read. Helps u know to appreciate the ideas presented in the book. The important thing however, is doing such things on u own book is fine but on someone elses book..bad manners!!! Quite a few people have told me this, but I guess they were all close friends and didnt mind much this habit of mine.. I got used to being getting away with it...to the point wherein finally I happened to borrow a book from a German friend. I was wary of my bad habit and so whenever I read this book, I took care enough to have a pencil in my hand. But as it turns out not many people like even a small erased pencil mark on the book.
So I had to buy him a new book. Not that I regret as the book is really good and for sure, its worth shelfing.

Learnt an important lesson the hard way!!!

-sachin

I wonder why

Ok heres the deal, I hate phones. U wonder why, is this guy crazy. Actually not..
Theres nothing worst then u getting a wake up call at odd hours of the day, with phone blarring out in it harsh voice, u getting out of ur room and seeing the gushing face of ur roommate, blabering his way to his room with the phone in his hand.. U then wonder what hell did u do wrong to suffer such torture.
Well I guess I have to live with this for rest of my grad life... Supposedly this person has a girlfriend who loves to call him at times of the day when its early morning eastern time!!!
She, I presume forgets the fact that we are 3hrs behind them atleast as far as time zone goes.

Now u woud wonder in this modern world of cell phones, why woud she actually call on home phone. As it turns out this Mr Protagonist is supposedly a big time famous person...
I mean, given any time of the day, the chances that he is on phone is 100%... No I am not joking ... it is absolutely serious.
So what woud the lead female in this plot do... yes call at land line in our house... the guy wants max utilization of his time, supposedly on phone...

Neways, I guess its way of life for many people.. Simply they cant survive without that small handset.. one of the many wonders of modern world.

The results I have been dying to get

Something that a young graduate researcher alls looks for , results , papers, that journal this journal...the obvious fear in every grad students life.. what if some one asks, hey so how many papers do u have? Come on, somthings are better left unsaid... who to tell those morons.
So here i am sitting.. in front of this blog page blabbering my a** out, instead of working on the problem on hand.
neways had to vent my anger and what better than pouring it out on a type writer (my laptop)

Failed at previous attempt

Ok yes, I falied , failed in my first attempt at blogging, yes created th blog, thatcrazygradlife, tried posting on the blog and always managed to get weird errors and eventually after just having one post, things in bloggin died down for me...
was prompted to day to creat new blog to satiate the hidden becker in me...
Yes the becker in me... I can easily associate myself with the character of Becker, the protagonist of the sitcom on CBS, Becker. Today I have to talk about the farce, that big airlines play with us poor travellers.
Ok heres what happened..
I had credit with America West because of the my cancelled journey in February, of about $276.
I decided to redeem the credit, by making a round trip to Philedelphia next week, so I go to their airline look for cheap flight on their low fares page, and call the airline to book the said itinerary.
The woman was very kind and patient in hearing what I had to say, then she speaks!!!
She informs me that the fare I mentioned is not visible to her and the cheapest fare that I coud get was for about $284, more by about $80. I ask her why is it that shes unable to see what I seem to get on the airline website.. She patiently explains, the low fares are to motivate people to book online and since I had credit with America west, I coud not do the online booking and had to pay for booking with the airline...Totally, catch22...
Moreover, I was told that I had to purchase immediately and cannot just book the ticket and get back to then in 24 Hrs as is done by some other airlines...
Well America west all I have to tell u is, You lost a customer!! and I hope this trends follows.